I’ve been bitten by the bug again. I can’t stop. It’s an addiction. I’ve spent most of the weekend playing… well the moments when I wasn’t so dizzy that I couldn’t stand. I should have seen the signs. I’ve got blisters on my fingers. I walk around work throwing up the horns. I’ve even started head banging in my car at stop lights. That’s right my dear audience I’m playing the guitar again.
I suppose Guitar Hero is partially to blame. When I got it last march I’ve slowly been learning how to rock all over again. (Part of rocking is respecting that you will never be as good as Randy Rhodes or Dimebag Darrell, rest in peace the both of you.) The biggest culprit though is probably my friend Chris. Over Thanksgiving we had an impromptu jam session and now I’m belting out Wolfmother so good it makes faces melt. Pleas do not call the police, there’s no one in my apartment but me so ho actual faces have melted, these are hypothetical faces. Though the neighbor below he likely hates me now, but it’s only fair considering his penchant for playing shitty music with the bass turned up way to loud.
I’m full blown in the madness. I’m asking around work to see if anyone plays anything hoping I can get a band together. I’m craving the 60 watt amp that is hidden somewhere under stands of randomness at my parents house. I remember fondly the days when I was home alone and I would crank that thing so loud my it could cause permanent hearing loss in my neighbors. Combine that with a Crybaby 525 Wah-pedal and I used to do a decent version of Hendrix’s Star Spangled Banner that would make any hippie patriot cry.
I’m surfing Musicians Friend website the way the 13 year old version of me watched basic cable praying to god some editor slipped up on his job and I got to see some unpixelated jubblies. The interesting thing is when I was 17 I had no job and now I have big fancy job so suddenly the idea of spending $800 on a guitar doesn’t seem that unreasonable. I keep trying to justify it by saying that even if 2 months from now I’ve given up on all this again it’s still a good investment. I mean unless they become damaged guitars never really go down in value right? I’m making a list of guitars that I want to try out at my earliest convenience. Thus far it consists of: ESP Viper 500, ESP F-500, Gibson SG Menace, and Gibson Les Paul Menace. What can I say, I’m in a black kind of mood. I might try one of the Epiphone Gothic series but I’ve got an Epiphone and to paraphrase the previously mentioned Chris, “If you’re gonna buy another guitar might as well upgrade or go home.”
The bad news is I live in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere. I should have known something was wrong with this area when I had to drive over an hour to get to a movie theater that doesn’t have wrinkles in the screen. This place doesn’t have a decent music store worth a damn. By all indications I’m talking at least 90 miles to even look at a guitar that isn’t my own. There’s no telling how impossible it’s going to be to find at least 2 other people interested in the same kind of music I am. Hell in my home town (which was considerably larger) it was damn hard to find anyone so this place is hopeless. If my Friday night is any indication none of the local bars really have need for someone with my unique interest in music. The band I saw Friday was so horrible I would have felt bad for them had there not been dozens of chicks dancing to it anyway. I can’t tell if these women have a genuine bad taste in music or if they simply were simply too drunk to care. Regardless my future in rocking doesn’t look good in my current locale..
I spent the remainder of the weekend sick with no immediate cause in sight. My cure for colds of this variety consist of Mrs Grass Noodle soup and enough NyQuil to tranquilize an elephant. Ironically just this last Thursday a coworker recommended this ZiCam stuff so Sunday when I made the weekly trip to the grocery store I got myself some. Surprisingly it actually does work rather well at relieving the symptoms. At least I think it did, it’s entirely possible it was a coincidence. I’ll have to wait until I get another cold for further experimentation to be sure. The instructions on this ZiCam box read like the rules for dealing with mogwai. Do not eat or drink anything for 15 minutes after taking it. Do not eat or drink anything citrus related for 30 minutes before or after taking it. Other wise drink plenty of fluids. Do not take after midnight or your skin might turn green and you might become a deranged monster. On that note I’m off to down some more NyQuil.
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